Jane the Virgin

I can't believe I wrote a post last year! Though technically speaking it's been almost two years.
But it was also a commentary post about something I just watched.

I've been frantically binging Jane The Virgin.

All the inspirations and artistic opinions to the side, I really want to talk about Michael and Jane's relationship.

I've been Team Michael since day 1. And apparently I am the minority here! 80% Jane/Rafael online.
I read a lot in the comments and actually think that the audience mostly reflect their own thoughts. Beginning with their own preference in types, Rafael is a handsome, tall, muscular, rich, prince charming kind of guy(mostly doesn't exist), while Michael being a boy next door, also handsome, but more of a warm, funny, loyal type of guy. 

From a LOT of J/M shippers' comments, Michael reminds them of their own spouses, who is more realistic, who provides, who gives off a sense of security-- someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Me personally too, besides how vulnerable and admirable Brett Dier's performance is, and the off-the-chart chemistry between him and Gina. 

Ad for Rafael, yes he did grow, he grew throughout the series, but then again, OF COURSE he had to, given how dramatic this telenovela story arcs are. It's impossible not for Jane and him to go through all this all these years and not end up together-- from a logical point-of-view.
But I'm still having a hard time watching their intimate scenes, there's just something missing between the two of them, it's less, realistic? Or the chemistry just isn't as strong as J/M. 

I almost quit the show when Michael dies in the middle of season 3, he is probably one of my all-time favorite TV love interests, ever since Matthew who also tragically dies in Downton Abbey, WHICH I almost quit the show for. 

As much as I care about the show and know it has to be this way, I still feel like Michael's character is neglected and instead of having him back for Jane to choose Rafael, I'd rather he didn't, because real life isn't a telenovela. Welp, I KNOW I'm watching one thank you. It's just that, you don't need a closure(with Michael in this case) in order to move on with Rafael wholeheartedly, because it's not how real-life works. In real life, shit happens unexpectedly and you have to move pass it and live on. Meeting your supposedly-dead husband and rekindling only to find out that you're both different now and now you can happily move on is absolutely not necessary.

Back to where I was. I think Michael is a more relatable character of them both. And the fact that he never stops loving Jane, is what makes us(ok, me) so heart-wrenched, I mean even with the heartbreak sex with his coworker and his attempt dates with his ex-girlfriend, he never stops loving Jane, through Sam, through Rafael, through all sorts of difficulties, through his death, even when he comes back as Jason. Remember when Petra says to Rafael that she knows he still has feelings for Jane, is was like a WTF moment to me, because it was so not true, it's not believable, it feels forced. To be honest I was even hoping things will work out with Adam. Rafael and Jane's relationship always seem very forced to me, even Petra and him have better chemistry, even when they are not together.
And back to my point, Rafael has been with countless women and seemingly even forget about how him and Jane were in love once: her cousin, Abbey, Petra (And he really went for it!!!! oh by the way if it wasn't because Petra and JR are so amazing together, I was very pissed at how Petra chose Rafael over Chuck)....

Right now I don't even want to finish watching the remaining few episodes after Jane leaves Montana and clears things up with Michael. It is wrong. It breaks my heart to just think about Michael marrying someone else, after everything he's been through.

Now let me get some sleep(4am) and who knows, maybe I'll never finish the series.

I'm just frustrated cause they cast such an amazing actor to play Michael and it's really hard to let him go.

Manchester By The Sea

Manchester By The Sea is not sure what it wants to be. Music score all over the place, horrible editing, jump cuts not very attractive and poorly executed. The delivery is exhausting. Despite of the acting, everything else was badly carried out for a several-Academy-Award-nominating standards.

Love what I do

The rehearsal tonight truly reminded me of how lucky I am to be an actress, to be able to live truthfully in the moment, to embrace human emotions like a newborn, and to entirely step out of my comfort zone.
To be vulnerable and to be afraid but it's okay.
It's the process of training that makes acting great.

Rehearsals are my favorite, cause you get to enjoy the vulnerability; Instead when you're on stage or in front of the camera, you live through it.
Thank you husband. Thank you for always being there, supporting me and calling me out when I bring acting home.



I love what I do.

超人老公的女神(經)

小時候都會寫一些作文像是

我的母親 我的父親 我的偶像 我的老師(現在想一想老師心機滿重的 想釣出話看誰不喜歡他就不給他好日子過)

還好我小時候文筆很好掰的行雲流水母親父親老師感動到痛哭流涕 連續四年都全年級寫作冠軍 現在都二十六歲了還要拿出來講

各位老師朋友大家好 今天我要講的則是
我的老公

我的老公是超人
白天工作超量 晚上還得伺候我
任我打罵 忍辱負重

我曾經看過我的演員朋友精神虐待她男友 覺得不可思議
一邊覺得哇靠妳是在演連續劇嗎 一邊也覺得欸也不能怪她啦 I see where she's coming from.
畢竟咱都是同行嘛 職業病 到家也下不了戲
這真的不是藉口(同時也就是)
因為演員真的很dramatic
但也不能怪我們
我們被訓練的對日常生活中的大小事誠實的反應情緒 而且要毫無顧忌

因為一般人都以為演員嘛 就是很會演戲
但錯了 演員其實是最誠實的人
如果你不誠實面對自己的感受和反應 甚至second think of妳現在該做什麼反應
就已經錯失最值錢的鏡頭了

真的假不了

而且這過程其實很難 但我離題了

總之 我們很愛哭 很愛笑 大起大落
跟一個接受過meisner訓練的演員在一起 大概也只有 同樣身為演員才可以handle吧
（或是一起加速步向情緒性的毀滅）
而這完全不是影響relationship的藉口！我知道！

我老公每天都跟向一個定時炸彈在一起一樣

他是一個每天都很快樂的人

樂觀 活潑
對世界充滿熱情 擁有強大的求知慾
在嫁給一個於每個星期六晚上都要在家裡看看到底古代埃及考古學家最近又有什麼重大的發展 的人(子句很長)以前 我就鄭重的說 親愛的其實偶爾我們看一下卡通futurama好嗎 然後他就會說 欸不如我們來看UFO相關節目

他每天都笑咪咪

我投擲情緒炸彈
一個接一個 難聽的話一句接一句
特別是要用英文吵架本來我就居於劣勢 他越打斷我或我自己卡詞我就更氣

但他實在是包容我太多
unpack我的情緒package.

而且他很快就忘記我們吵什麼 或我們為了什麼而不開心
我都耿耿於懷 小鼻子小眼睛
他這個金魚腦卻自在快樂的過著每一天

真的教會了我很多事情

我想給他很多很多的愛

因為他是個超人
超九晚五
回到家繼續忙他的音樂
忙著愛我
忙著愛他的家人
忙著讓大家開心

他有著一顆慈悲和善良的心
我的超人老公有一天也會是最好的超人老爸

開部落格！

來紐約三年了
為了老娘的演藝生涯 大家一直奉勸我開粉絲頁
但我愛演戲是一回事 臉皮薄的很 一點也不想變成公眾人物阿（也是不致於）
而這一點也不矛盾
身為演員 我愛舞台 愛鏡頭 愛身在其中
但下戲以後我懼怕過多的拋頭露面
雖然我也是愛拍美照 自拍什麼的 幹誰不是
但開粉絲頁就是過不了自己那關阿 是很紅嗎
我看我加入工會以後 有個大project到手以後 再來開吧

雖然我是一個活潑外向的人 工作和私生活我分的很清楚

很多次工作的時候 都會發現大部分的演員(尤其菜鳥)都會很積極的交朋友
他們熱情的交友火焰燃燒整個片場 過度desperate
我和大家都處得來  也是有說有笑 因為我就真的很好笑
但我不會馬上就 「欸那個我們加捻書吧 <3 一定要hang out阿！」
專業是專業 親和但不是交際花 是我一概的態度

在這個行業喔 演員大概就是這兩種人吧


因此其實我不太喜歡過度的訪談（對我超難搞）
我喜歡談電影 談我和角色之間的關係 劇組
但談到我個人 我就腦中想說嗯 我們有很熟嗎 洗安那我要跟你說我童年的故事對於進入角色的影響
關你屁事

但不行 因為老娘還沒大紅大紫 這種態度會沒有工作接
(雖然我很有原則的事情早就傳播千里，有一個producer還說 妳太帥了很有個性 不過這樣某製片下次會怕用妳，我還說是他能力太爛又愛裝笑維遲早沒有人會想跟他合作)

有時候我就覺得我是 潤發，Viggo Mortensen(魔戒亞拉岡)或是 Peter Dinklage
阿怎麼都男的
除了潤發以外都滿憂鬱的餒 但他們共通點都很保護他們的個人隱私和生活
不會隨波逐流和到處搜秀

也不是說那樣不好啦 阿我們就同掛的

不過他們那麼紅 我是在大牌什麼


Johnny Depp是不喜歡看到自己在電視上的人or在劇院看自己的首映
其實很多演員都是這樣
我也是
每次去首映或是screening我都整個人滑下座位邊緣 用手遮眼睛 像去看鬼片一樣只不過自己演的就不用浪費錢

但老娘真的很愛寫部落格
所以我不要用我的臉
不 要 臉

就這樣